So today, I’m going to get real with you guys. I’m going to be sharing a bit of my story and how I got to where I am.
Fitness wasn’t always something I liked. When I was younger, I was basically raised indoors and never had to lift a hand. When I was in college I joined the ROTC program and of course physical fitness was a major part. Let’s just say, it SUCKED.
It was hard because I was surrounded by many people that were in shape and made running and working out look so easy. I was constantly belittled because I barely made height/weight. By being short I basically had to weigh 100 pounds to be healthy according to their standards. Even if I got there with unhealthy methods.
To say that this ruined my self-esteem is an understatement. Once I graduated college I had to undo years of mistreatment and mean things that were said to me by my “peers”. I begin my health journey after following many people on Instagram.
However, what I began doing was unhealthy. I saw people that were in the middle of their journey and I tried to compare myself in my journey. I would stand in front of a mirror and constantly pick myself apart. It was easy for me to forget the progress that I have made whenever I would log on and see people doing twice as much as I was able to do. It got to the point where I had to put up my phone and not look at my social media accounts.
After many nights of tears and prayer I came to realize that my worth is not in what I look like. I know that I am a good wife and a good friend and I take comfort in these things. I have many talents and I know that I can help others with what I know. I came to learn what self-care was and what that meant for me. I took a break from fitness to really find myself.
What is self-care? It means different things to different people. It means that on crappy days, you lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bath because it will make you feel better. It means that you take spin, yoga, or bare classes because they make you feel really, really awesome. It means that you wear fluffy pajamas and snuggle up in bed with a good book at 2 in the afternoon. It’s basically any intentional action that you take to care for your physical, mental, and emotional health.
By joining a community of women who prioritize self care, I became easier on myself. I took time for myself to prioritize my feelings and my mental health. I begin to regain my confidence when I put aside what I felt I had to do and what I thought I had to look like. Once I did what I wanted to do, even if it went against society’s standards, I began to be happy.
I have started to work out again and as you can tell, I am training for many races at this fall. I have a balance between fitness and self-care in my life. Some days workouts that make me feel so weak but I know how far I’ve come. Some days I eat healthy food and nothing but vegetables and other days I can eat a whole pizza. I don’t let myself feel bad about this because this makes me happy. I don’t feel the need to prove to others that I can eat “clean” food and work out all the time because I know that those who love me appreciate everything I can do.
If you are struggling with self-care and you’re having feelings of self-doubt, my advice would be to find a community of people that can lift you up and show you that you are loved and appreciated. Your worth is not in what you look like and you shouldn’t feel pressured to fit in certain circles. Maybe working out doesn’t make you happy but spending time with loved one does. Maybe you just need to take a break and spend time reading one of your favorite books. If there’s one thing that I could tell you today, is that my life is changed since I prioritized self-care. I am happier, I am more confident and I don’t let things bother me as much.
If you are struggling, I would love to come alongside you and help you up. I want to cry with you on the bad days and cheer for you on the good ones.
I hope this post helped you a bit. Remember, you are loved!